Night before the big surgery!

It's the day before my big day to remove my ta ta's that I've had my whole life! It is such a weird feeling to count down the days of needing to wear a bra. After today I will be flat and once I get the new boobs I'm hoping I won't need to wear one! I am excited about getting this tumor OUT OF MY BODY but at the same time I have some feelings that make me anxious. I know it will all go as planned but I've never had a surgery this major before. Plus it is strange to know they are taking something that makes me a woman. People can say what they want to make me feel better but it's the truth, and to be honest the feeling is strange.

Tomorrow I get to Moffitt at 9am and they will inject my breast with dye and and take some images to see what lymph nodes take up this dye first.  Those are considered to be the sentinel lymph nodes and they will all be removed during my surgery (double mastectomy). Once removed they will run some more tests on them right away to see if they show any signs of cancer. If they come back positive then they will remove all my axilla lymph nodes and do the mastectomy then sew me back up. Once recovered I would have to undergo radiation. BUT if all goes as planned and hoped, the lymph nodes will come back negative and they will do the mastectomy and insert expanders in place of my breasts. Over the next 4-5 months they will fill my expanders until they are full size.  Once full I have to wait about 6-8 weeks before getting my permanent implants. The good thing about getting expanders put in is that I get to test drive my boob size before putting in the implants!

Expander and implant options

Above is a picture of the expander (left) that I explained above.  I chose the middle implant over the one on the right.  That one on the right is actually teardrop shaped for a more natural look. Honestly I want them to look fake! And I definitely don't want them to have any drooping! I've had enough of that the past 10+ years already, now it's time to get new ones.

I'll be in the hospital all weekend and plan to check out some time on Sunday if all goes as planned. Then I get to go home and recover with the help of my husband, family, and friends. The part I fear the most if recovery and feeling pain and discomfort....NOT looking forward to that. But this is all a part of the fight and I will do whatever it takes so that I can live my life again. 

Speaking of living life....last weekend my hubby and I went to Key West for 3 days. IT WAS AWESOME!! We flew this time and realized that we will never do the 8+ hour drive again. Our time was mainly spent relaxing but we did get out to have some drinks and enjoy ourselves. We usually do this trip every summer and I had to squeeze it in before my surgery and I am so glad I did. I'm also glad I got a hot stone massage while I was there (Jala Spa @ Hyatt Key West), it was fabulous.  AND my massage therapist sent chocolate covered strawberries to my room afterwards. Now that's good service!  I really enjoyed my time between chemo graduation and surgery and I recommend that everyone else going through this does the same!

Chocolate covered strawberries for me!!!

Dinner at the Conch Republic, great place, good music :)

Our first stop was here at Hog's Breath Saloon.

Thanks for reading and once I'm feeling better I will post an update. I asked my sister to record me after I come out of anesthesia so that may be on my next post if it's appropriate!