PAMELA FIGHTS IN PINK!: 3 Weeks After DMX!!!

Don't worry about the title, DMX is not referring to the the rapper! DMX is short for "double mastectomy" for those new to this type of lingo. Also, BC is short for "breast cancer" and these are acronyms I've learned while talking to my BC sisters through Facebook or texts. This experience has led me to meet some amazing women out there that are true fighters. Actually......some of them are simply online friends but I'm amazed by how much support travels through the internet. I recently joined a Facebook group for Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) Survivors and it's been a great outlet for me to learn from the experienced survivors and offer help to the current fighters. It seems that all I want to do now is reach out and help someone that is going through diagnosis phase, treatment, or surgery. I'm not alone because it seems like every BC sister wants to help another BC sister! We rock.

Me and Laura going to my appointment!

I should have posted last week but it was tough to just play Candy Crush on my iPad, let alone type and think straight. In my last blog I talked about the drains and I can't emphasize in words how awful they were! However, I was blessed to just have 2 drains because I saw where some get up to 6 of them. Not only are they disgusting...they are painful too! I don't think we are meant to have tubes sticking out of our bodies. My left side stopped draining and started swelling making me look even more strange. I went for my post op follow up on day 11 and when my surgeon pulled that tube out it had tissue at the end so it wasn't draining right. YES...they just pull the tubes on out like it's no big deal! My bestie, and colon cancer fighter, Laura was there to witness this nasty event. It sorta felt like something crawling as the tubes were being pulled out. I don't have a lot of feeling so it is just a strange sensation, but at least it didn't hurt. Afterwords I felt like a free woman, it was great!

Pumpkin giving me some snuggles while we nap

My pain level just 11 days out was still fairly significant but they are against prescribing more narcotics in efforts to not make us addicts. I'm not sure how much I agree because sometimes the pain is beyond Tylenol or Advil capabilities but....whatever. I started taking Advil and Aleve to find out a week later that they were causing me to have gastroenteritis/colitis, which is just great. No more Ibuprofen/NSAIDS for me, my body hates them and now I do too. At this point (3 weeks post op) my pain has gone down quite a bit and I'm taking extra strength Tylenol. I save the prescription meds for when I can't tolerate it anymore. This surgery causes all kinds of pain - sharp, dull, hypersensitivity, pulling, aching, tightness, and stabbing. The expanders were placed under the muscle so this causes a sharp/dull/shooting pain from the ribs. These expanders bulge out on my sides so that area is sore and I try not to put my arms down all the way. They are uncomfortable and my chest felt like it had a long 2x4 in it, but this is all temporary and it will get better. The nerve pain is the worst! They sever so many nerves that it causes them to fire at all times and it can drive you crazy. It makes some areas hypersensitive and I can't stand clothes touching my skin (upper chest, sides, under arms, back). Weird things happen like if I rub the back of my head it causes nerves in my chest to fire.....this happens when I wash my forearms too. It feels like a little bit of electricity flushing through my body. I hope this is temporary and gets better as my nerves get accustomed to my body's new landscape!

I could write an entire book about this surgery because there is so much I want to share with everyone. The physical aspects are more than I expected and then there's the emotional part as well. I'm reluctant to post of picture of my chest even though it's just skin with two 4" vertical sutures where I once had breasts. I just haven't built up the courage to share this and I applaud the woman who have. It's not pretty or attractive whatsoever but I know that it's temporary as I go through the reconstructive process. Honestly, I thought this would have me in tears all the time but it wasn't until 9 days post op that I shed a tear because of my new look. I was trying so hard to stay positive but the pain, tightness, discomfort, and frustrations finally got to me so I had my moment!

First pic of my flat chest!

At this point each day is better than the one before. My range of motion is coming back and I can almost reach my nightstand without hurting myself. It nearly took 3 weeks to lift my arms high enough to put deodorant on so I used baby powder....carefully. Because of the expanders I still can't sleep on my sides and apparently I won't be able to do that for awhile....damnit. It's getting easier to cough but sneezing is still an issue! My entire breast area is totally numb but this is a good thing, trust me. The best way to explain this feeling is it is just like after leaving the dentist when your lip feels like it's 3" thick....that's how my breast area feels. This is good because when I go to get my boobs filled with saline in the upcoming weeks I won't feel the needle sticking me!

There is so much more I need to share so expect more blogs to come related to this DMX experience. I hope this blog brings another level of understanding to what we go through to fight BC. Chemotherapy was tough but going through a double mastectomy is no joke either! All I had to do was a lumpectomy but there are too many women out there that regret not doing a DMX the first time around. I have no regrets on my decision to tackle this disease with chemo and a DMX. I also wouldn't change my diagnosis if I could. I know it's caused a lot of pain and grief for me and my loved ones but it's changed my life.....in a good way.