Chemo #3 AC done!

Well I thought I was bald with that last post but I am even more bald now.......I mean NO hair on my head! I am more comfortable with it than I thought I would be. That doesn't mean that it was easy to do but it was something that I had control of finally. To be honest I did have a meltdown right before I had Dave shave it off out of just pure frustration.  I've had a few of these where emotions come over me and I just lose it and can't hardly catch my breath because I cry so hard. But when it's over, I feel better and more peaceful for some reason. I'm sure this must be hard for Dave to deal with since I generally keep it together.  So I must be driving him batty at this point!!

Me and my seester waiting on chemo round 3 doing the peace sign :)

Uncle Kenny showing his support!!!

I get ALL KINDS of support from my friends and family out there and I am so thankful for it!!!!  A day or so after I went full commando my Uncle Kenny in Daytona decided to do the same thing to show his support! How sweet was that?! Then last week I got a package from a 3rd cousin (or 2nd or something, I can't keep up with family trees!) full of beautiful head wraps since she is now in the Radiation stage of her treatment against this ridiculous disease! She has been a great supporter and went through the same treatment I am going through.  Not to mention she is yet another cancer ass kicker!




Last week I went to buy some beanies for my head because it does get chilly.  But then when I cover my head it will get hot sometimes and there is no happy medium.  I like to wear them under scarves, around the house, or when I go to bed.  Until you have a bald head you don't realize how cold a pillow can be!  Then my menopause goes haywire in the middle of the night and I take it off. Waking up hot and sweaty has become normal for me these days. Anyway, I decided to try on some wigs where I went to get a few beanies and really liked this one called the "angel".....so I bought it! I haven't worn it out yet but I will soon. At least now I can go out and look normal.  However, I do enjoy accessorizing my head so being bald hasn't been all that bad.

My new long wig, but I haven't worn it out yet!

I am looking forward to getting chemo behind me more than ever.  I have one more round of this intense AC treatment and then I move on to Taxol for 4 rounds. After round 2 of AC I was a little stronger than after round 1.  But then the second week kicked in and the mouth sores were out of control. I've included a picture that doesn't even do it any justice.  Sorry to those of you with a weak stomach!  My mouth and throat was basically an open wound and if I ate it just felt like I was swallowing rocks. It get so frustrating to feel like this because I want to eat but can't.  And on top of it, everything tastes like crap. My favorite foods now have no flavor and so eating is just a huge pain in the ass these days.

OK so I can't eat most of the time. But then my indigestion went out of control! It was so uncomfortable that I just couldn't take it anymore.  Finally, I started taking Prevecid daily and it works!  I do have a little indigestion here and there but nothing like I was having.  It's simply crazy how much the chemo gets your digestive system out of whack.  Nothing works right and so you just always feel bleh.

First the sores appear as this then they get raw and more painful.

Sores in the crease of my mouth, feels like it was cut with a chainsaw.

There's all this advice out there and books about what you should eat to beat cancer.  Coming from someone that is on chemo, this is all fairly impossible! I went into this thinking I would eat right and follow the alkaline diet stuff.  It's impossible. You just have to eat what you can when you can. I want to eat healthy and all but the foods were are "supposed" to eat just will not go down.  I'll try and eat something and it just turns to mush in my mouth.  I compare it to what it may be like to eat glue or something that is just bad texture and no taste.  It is the weirdest thing to have no taste and not be able to eat most things.  On the bright side, about 3 days before my next round I do get some taste back and I hope that happens again this round!

Let's end this one on a good note!  I am convinced that one of my dogos can detect Migraines.  I've had some migraine problems on my 2nd week after chemo. Vixen was licking my ear and face more than ever, it was driving me nuts.  Then she would stand over me and just be intense.  Then 30 minutes later.....bad migraine!  This happened 3 times and I swear she must know it's coming on.  Now I will take my meds if she does this because those migraines are no fun. We have a lot of dogs and I'll put a few pictures below to share how happy they make me!

Vixen cuddling with me while I deal with the migraine.

Vixen on me while I have a migraine!

Then below are some pictures when Pumpkin first noticed my bald head! I think she likes it because she loves to lick so this gives her more surface area to do that. She definitely noticed something was different but you gotta love dogs because they don't judge!

Dogs my be a lot of work and responsibility, but the rewards are worth it.  They are such good therapy for me and I couldn't imagine doing this without having such great dogs.  When no one is home they always fill in that void and there is nothing like the compassion from your dog! I was looking into training my lab (Hunter) to be a therapy dog and then got diagnosed. I will definitely go through with this training so I can take him out and help others that need some dog therapy!