The Body IS Amazing

Exactly 3 months ago today I was being discharged from the hospital after undergoing a double mastectomy with the start of reconstruction. At the time, I felt like there was a cinder block sitting on my chest and I could barely move my arms. I remember feeling like it would be forever until I felt good again! Keep in mind, the surgery was just 5 weeks after finishing chemo that destroys every cell you have (except the fat cells, apparently those cells stick around!).

Over the past month I've tried to make more of an effort to exercise and it's harder than I thought it would be! Looking back I regret not being in better shape before going through all of this. Between the stress of life and work I just didn't focus on staying in good shape. I can't sit here and be upset about it now because I just need to move forward and get healthy again. After walking or doing anything strenuous I pay for it later and it frustrates me. But tonight I took a moment to reflect that it was JUST 3 MONTHS AGO that I was walking out of the hospital after major surgery. I look at these pictures of me below and can't believe it's even me. My body has gone through so many changes since then that it is truly amazing how our bodies bounce back.

I don't remember taking this picture above because I was doped up at the time but this is probably one of the first glamour shots after my surgery. Then I got to wear this fancy velcro halter top for the next few weeks. Notice I don't have any eyebrows or hair yet either.....oh yea and my boobs are gone too!

Just  barely 4 weeks after the above pictures my sister and I decided to join a good friend of mine and take a trip to Nashville for the 4th of July. I wasn't in the best of shape but I was able to go and have a great time! I finally wore the wig I spend a ton of money on but quickly found out how hot they are so it's been put away ever since! Right about this same time you'll see my eyebrows are actually starting so show, along with some eyelashes. This happened just 3 months after finishing chemo.  Also at this point I had a little bit of hair, basically a GI Jane buzz cut again except that the coloring seems a little lighter than it was.

 I forgot to mention that at 4 weeks post surgery I started gentle yoga. I thought it would be easy for me because I've done yoga plenty of times in my life....but it was hard! I went to that same class this past week and I can see a huge difference in flexibility and strength so I am glad it's something I decided to do. The only downfall is that I let my mind race during yoga and I need to stop that. Defeats the purpose!

Towards the end of August we took a last minute trip to Key West for work. I decided to tag along on this trip and glad I did because that place is therapeutic to me. At this point in my reconstruction process I've had 300cc of saline injected and I'm starting to feel better. One thing I've learned from all of this is to take advantage of days when you feel good!

Cabin mates!!!!

This brings me to just a week ago when I had the opportunity to be a camper at Faces of Courage. Now this was FUN! My bestie Laura has been a camper for the past few years along with another friend Stephanie. Those two were diagnosed with colon cancer about a month apart back in 2009 (crazy, huh?).

Steph, Me, and Laura

At camp I was able to do some archery which was surprising to me. I didn't think that would be something I could do just yet. I also tried kayaking for the first time and stayed above water. I've canoed a ton of times but never tried a kayak and glad I did. Then we did some water zumba for an hour and that was a great workout. After being out and about all day at camp we had a "Little Hats" themed dance and that explains our look in the pictures here! It was a lot of fun and I plan on doing it again next year if they'll let me come back!

Me trying out for Hunger Games

The week prior to camp I signed up for a membership at the gym. I even got a personal trainer so that I actually go and make progress. I know how to work out and all that goes with it but I need some accountability! Plus the trainer I have is recovering from an accident and can relate to body pain and weakness. So far I've made it to the gym two weeks in a row and I do not plan on quitting yet. NOT after I saw my weight on Tuesday, geez!! I credit the weight gain to lack of activity but most of all to menopause and Lyrica. I've decided to ween off Lyrica (with my doctor's help) and just deal with the neuropathy like a big girl. I'm hoping that being active will help with the pain and definitely help with getting back in shape!

Next on my agenda is to start Piano Lessons in a few more days. I've never had a real lesson and I am looking forward to it. I also started back with Dock Diving lessons for my lab and he's so happy about that. Next week I start therapy training classes with him so he can go put smiles on faces that truly need it to heal.

So, as I was leaving the gym tonight I just thought about how just 3 months ago today I was starting my recovery. I thought about how every last cell in the body can be damaged but with time and effort it can bounce back. I don't know where I am with recovery, maybe 40-45%....maybe more than that. I just know that I'm better off than I was 3 months ago and that's something to smile about. Three months ago I couldn't even open a door and today I don't even worry about opening doors. However, don't think for a second I won't be complaining about pain tonight or bitching about hot flashes because that all still happens! If you don't believe me you can ask my husband, I'm sure he'd love to tell ya!

Thanks for reading and I hope this enlightened those going through treatment that better days will come. It doesn't seem like it at the time but really does get better. Some days are better than others still today; but for the most part life is pretty darn good.

There I am in a kayak back there; Steph and Laura in the canoe